Reflections on January & February 2023

As I was writing a blog post about my reflections on January Turkey was hit by the biggest earthquake the area has seen in more than a century. So if felt frivolous to write about my goals and routines or post some pretty photos. I decided to stay off social media in general and concentrate on how I can help the community here. The destruction and loss caused by the three huge earthquakes are simply overwhelming. The Turkish community has been mourning and will be dealing with the repercussions of the disasters for many years to come. It is difficult to even comprehend the vastness of the losses. The affected area stretches over 400km and over 13.5 Million people are directly affected. So many people perished. Entire cities are in rubble. It's completely devastating. How does one even put words to loss of that scale? It felt apocalyptic. Yet within this devastation, I saw so many wonderful things emerge. People rallying to help, incredible generosity from all over the world but especially within the Turkish community, and many beautiful accounts of what can only be called small miracles, like people being found under the rubble 2 weeks later completely uninjured. So much hope despite the fear and pain. For me personally, it put everything into perspective. A reminder of the might of the Majestic, destiny, and that life is too short to waste it on unimportant stuff and toxic people.I found myself being grateful for the goodness in my life and the people love. I still feel like I am not quite ready, however, I am trying to slowly ease into social media. I have started a new photo project, instead of doing a photo a day I am doing a photo a week, so 52 photos in 2023. I find it actually more challenging to remember not only to take the photo but also to post it on IG. I am way behind with posting but have managed to keep up with taking photos, even if half the time I remember on Sunday to take the photo for the week. One of the decisions I made at the end of 2022 is to pursue more passion projects when it comes to photography. And I found that doing photo walks is invigorating, inspiring, and therapeutic. I find that I enjoy photography and creating more because of this. I will share my knitting escapades in a separate post. I have made the firm decision to finish my WIP before starting any more. I am running out of needles, that should give you a clue of how out of hand things have gotten. February was all about supporting those who need me, in all kinds of different ways. I think that in truth I am at my best when I help. Throughout my life serving my community has been important to me, and the events have reconfirmed that it is a pillar of strength for me. While I was planning and building routines, setting goals, planning, and starting new projects in January. Very simplified: restarting my outward life. February realigned my inward and spiritual striving. We also had our 25th wedding anniversary in February. This feels like a huge milestone, even if it is only one year more than last year. I am grateful for the wonderful companion I have had on this journey. How we still don't make much sense on paper, but we still work. I am looking forward to hopefully many more years of compassion and care for each other and plenty of adventures. Word of the MonthJanuary: ClarityFebruary: Remembrance

March 1, 2023

Reflections on 2022: The Year of Haste

Looking back on 2022 two things really stood out: Everything seems to rush by. It seems like it was a very short year and I felt quite often rushed. I feel like I was super busy and achieved rather little. The second thing that seems to have dominated 22 was that I was sick. It feels like I was sick a whole lot of the year. In reality, I was sick exactly 3. But I was sick for the whole of June and parts of July and it took ages to recover. Then I was sick again end of the year, again it took me what felt like ages to recover (two weeks). Both these things actually brought me to the conclusion to take a step back and just have a holiday for the last 10 days of the year. I mostly ignored my phone, the only interaction with my laptop was to edit photos and I was only on social media to keep going with my Project 365. Literally posting the photo of the day and calling it a day. I did reach the goals I set for myself. BUT at the beginning of 2022, I did say how I am setting 3 quite simple goals and that I would rather make intentions and write down what I would like to prioritize during the year instead. So maybe it wasn't that huge of a feat. I did reach my reading goal of 200 books ( but that is my usual so not that special) and I did also finish my 365 Photo Project. I will talk about it a little later.My overall impression is however that I didn't manage to get very much done. When I was sick at the end of May I stopped my morning routine. No more sunrise walks, no more sketching in the morning, also no more study time. This also meant much less journaling and I didn't keep a bullet journal. For the first time in over 6 years, I just stopped doing my bullet journal- the result sadly meant I didn't really keep up with my routines and I was also less organized and my multitasking was rather questionable. Even after I recover I didn't manage to get back into my morning routine, and obviously, my evening routine, which was always my weak point was totally thrown out the window. I think this is a huge reason why I did feel more stressed and why I didn't get half as much done as I usually do. The feeling of being stressed a lot and not being able to keep up permeated many aspects of my life. I often found myself rushing somewhere or thinking I should be doing a million things. I feel like I got sidetracked and distracted a lot. Most importantly, I feel like there were far too few moments when I was fully in the moment. I found social media overwhelming and I stopped posting because I was overthinking as usual. Also, I found the trolls stressful. Instead of being inspired and connecting with others, I just felt stressed and alienated half the time, or I would get sucked into the vortex of random posts and then be stressed because I wasted time. Writing my stress-fest down like that makes it all look quite dire. But really I had many amazing moments. I went on 5 trips (not as many as I used to do before 2020 but I good amount). I spent a lot of time with my family. I got to see a lot of friends. Both were even more of a treat after two years of barely being able to see anyone. I made quite a few new friends. I got a bit lost with my work and what I wanted to do but found in all of the stressing very clear signs of what I really don't want to do. And with that a clear indication of where I want with my creative life and work. So ending the year in my beloved alps. Sipping coffee as I watched the sun rise over one of the snowy peaks I felt like I could finally breathe. And when took my pen and started journaling what came out was clarity. I was very clear on my goals for 2023 and how I want the rest of my life to look. So 2022 might be a year of haste for me, overall and in general but really it also ended up as a gateway to clarity. PS: As pomised I will talk about the 365 Photos in 2022 project a wee bit later (give me a few days)

January 13, 2023

Reflections on January 2022

January started off slow and intentional. I reset my intentions and made time for my mourning routine. I felt like the first two weeks were an eternity. In fact, I even said that maybe this year will not be a total blur. And then, it all rushed by. Point of fact: I am writing this in mid-Feb. Even though I actually did write a small review into my journal. for some reason, I never got around to actually typing it out. I feel that I haven't gotten much done in the last couple of weeks of January, despite rushing around and always being busy. I ended up having sleeping issues as well, which retrospectively is most likely due to my ignoring my evening routine. I had two major deadlines in January. So I did spend quite a bit of time procrastinating and then freaking out. I would like to say I can actually pinpoint why I do it, but I have only a vague idea for my reasons. It is definitely something I will address in the next few months. But one thing I realised is that, I am not interested in being busy, feeling rushed and stressed. I don't really thrive on it anymore. I have no issue with working hard and a lot, but I actually do not enjoy the pressure of doing stuff within the last minute anymore. I feel like I am done with unnecessary drama, business and stress. I have been diligently working on Project 365. It's been interesting especially when we had bad weather and I am really not feeling like venturing out, so I have been taking way more stills. Also while I have purposely not set the task as having to be in a theme or even that I need to use my canon for the daily photo. The eternal perfectionist in me feels like the photos should still tell a story and I cringe when I only did take a photo on my phone. Then there is the not very curated grid that comes from this. It has been quite honestly a massive exercise in letting go for me for the first month. As I am talking about Project 365, I decided not to post the photos every week, because I feel like I am posting the same thing over and over. So if you want to see the actual photos visit my personal Instagram account. I do (most of the time) post daily. I will share the monthly mosaic with my reviews. That's all for now.Happy Valentines Day!

February 14, 2022