Category: Reflections

My thoughts and reflections on things

September Morning Musings

Can you believe nearly ¾ of the year has already flown by? This fact quite strikes me. I feel a sense of urgency atm. Oddly it's an urgency to slow down, treasure time and live in the moment. I feel very aware of my time being limited. I am currently visiting home, as a family member is not well. It is the main reason I have spent a lot of time in Switzerland this past year. First and foremost I am very grateful that I am able to do this. Freelancing is a massive gift for me. Also being faced with our mortality puts many things in perspective for me. I feel very aware of my priorities in life. It puts into perspective who and what is most important to me. Second I also feel strongly that there are things I still would love to learn and explore, and don't want to make excuses to postpone them. I saw a reel on IG the other day, about how two years passed and nothing changed... the excuses are the same-but if one just starts moving towards one's dreams in small steps, two years later most things won't be much different, except we have small experiences that change our lives. This spoke to me and I am now writing a list of skills I still want to learn and things I want to do. A sort of bucket list of skills. I might share them later here. (Don't hold your breath, since I am terrible at writing posts these days)Do you have skills you want to learn? I am also reflecting on the year so far. The 100 Day Project was an interesting experience for me. It's been interesting sketching for 100 consecutive days. My inner overachiever still preens with the fact, that she managed to finish the 100 days. From a skill point of view, it was interesting and creatively I found it very expansive, even though I was worried I would run out of ideas or feel stifled.I did however not feel like it was very interactive with other artists. Maybe it's about the algorithms or we are all social media overloaded. Who knows? But one of the reasons I loved Damn Early Days was the sense of community it created. While I did my own thing and was one of the few people in my time zone who took part, others were struggling with me. There was an exchange of ideas and experiences. Also most importantly reminders to be patient with ourselves and our intentions. It helped me get even better at setting goals and pursuing them. And it helped me overcome my fear of routine, and how to build one that helps me expand rather than stiffle me. And last but certainly not least I learnt a whole lot about habits. When I told a friend about these experiences I had the idea to do another 100 days- for the last 100 days of the year. But then life happened and I kinda forgot that the last 100 days of 2024 start on the 23rd of September, so I decided to do a 30-day challenge instead with whoever is keen to join. Starting in October. The idea is to write a goal and make an intention to do something consistently for 30 days. This could be something creative or physical or studying whatever, for at least 5 minutes every day. Or if one wants the goal could be walking 3km or reading one page.. the sky is the limit. I think it is important to make time and to challenge oneself but not to make it impossible. For example, I would not be able to finish a sketch every day because it usually takes me at least 3 hours. Would you be interested in taking part in a 30-day challenge?

Reflections on 2023 and setting new goals for 2024

First up, I am running a little late with setting my goals for this year. Usually, I spend time in the last few weeks of the year, reflecting on said year and setting new priorities and intentions for the new year. Most of the time, by New Year I have my intentions and priorities written out and set myself 3-5 goals/ challenges as well. 2023 was a difficult year for me. A year of losses on many levels. From financial to personal, you name it. November and December were the culmination of it all. I could not even consider planning anything. I felt like what I needed was solitude and stillness. So December was spent mourning and accepting all the losses. The first week of January brought a couple of more disappointments and betrayals, I found that while I still was mourning the passing of close friends, I was also angry about the loss of friendships. So I took a bunch of long walks. Watched sunrises and quietly reflected on my year of losses. I felt like I was a ship in the middle of the fog, while I was sure my general direction was correct the lighthouse was switched off. I felt somewhat lost and alone. So I re-evaluated my general direction in life. Reflected my actions and events of 2023. What I realized is that it was a purification. A laying out the core of my intention and also relationships. A simple culling of unimportant stuff from my life. But also a reminder of what and who is truly important to me. Some priorities have shifted, but most have stayed the same. Most significantly these difficulties amplified the importance of my chore values and priorities in life. A new long-term project somehow emerged from this process. I am not nearly ready to even share the idea of it, it's still very new and not quite explainable/thought-through. But I know that it is something that I need to work towards starting quite immediately. Right now I am busy writing out my priorities and intentions for 2024.At the beginning of the year, I decided to set myself two goals regardless of anything that was happening in my life. Reading Goal: 204books read in 2024 (the usual thing) 52/2024: this time I thought it would be clever to do 52reels instead of 52 photos. I will post on the 52/2024 in a bit. I have done 3 reels so far and I don't think this was my smartest idea... Last week I had the idea to do Project 24. I haven't quite worked out all the details. But essentially it's a photography project that I will be working on for the year. Today I decided to join the 100Days of Art Challenge -which starts on Feb. 18th. I am going to sketch every day for 100 days. Also, I am starting my Damn Early Days routine again. Started today. The goal is to keep it going for the whole year. So my 5 goals/challenges for 2024 are now set. Did you set any goals for 2024?

Morning Musings. 1. November 2023

While I think that in some ways human imagination and creativity are incredible and seemingly limitless. I find that the majority of us end up applying what we have experienced or seen. So most times there is some of our ego in what we do. Which is interesting and positive when it comes to making art for example.But the more I reflect on it the more I find that most of us apply this to all actions and thoughts. So most of our actions come through a viewpoint of our own experience and views and are thus permeated with at least a small part of it. How is one truly selfless? How does one put "one's self into someone else's boots"? Without dragging one's own experiences and views into it? I think that letting go of one's own history to look at a situation or to act from a "fresh" point of view is one of the most difficult things to do. And in reality, it is most times nearly impossible. Is it necessary? When it comes to the current situation we find ourselves in, it is what Humanity desperately needs, in my opinion. People who act with no agenda or personal gain. People who act from a space that is free of the ego, their desires, and fears. Those actions- the actions that come with intention straight from the heart- have the most impact. No matter how small. They are the seeds that can change the world An entire city can not change one man. But one man can change the entire city.

Reflections on January & February 2023

As I was writing a blog post about my reflections on January Turkey was hit by the biggest earthquake the area has seen in more than a century. So if felt frivolous to write about my goals and routines or post some pretty photos. I decided to stay off social media in general and concentrate on how I can help the community here. The destruction and loss caused by the three huge earthquakes are simply overwhelming. The Turkish community has been mourning and will be dealing with the repercussions of the disasters for many years to come. It is difficult to even comprehend the vastness of the losses. The affected area stretches over 400km and over 13.5 Million people are directly affected. So many people perished. Entire cities are in rubble. It's completely devastating. How does one even put words to loss of that scale? It felt apocalyptic. Yet within this devastation, I saw so many wonderful things emerge. People rallying to help, incredible generosity from all over the world but especially within the Turkish community, and many beautiful accounts of what can only be called small miracles, like people being found under the rubble 2 weeks later completely uninjured. So much hope despite the fear and pain. For me personally, it put everything into perspective. A reminder of the might of the Majestic, destiny, and that life is too short to waste it on unimportant stuff and toxic people.I found myself being grateful for the goodness in my life and the people love. I still feel like I am not quite ready, however, I am trying to slowly ease into social media. I have started a new photo project, instead of doing a photo a day I am doing a photo a week, so 52 photos in 2023. I find it actually more challenging to remember not only to take the photo but also to post it on IG. I am way behind with posting but have managed to keep up with taking photos, even if half the time I remember on Sunday to take the photo for the week. One of the decisions I made at the end of 2022 is to pursue more passion projects when it comes to photography. And I found that doing photo walks is invigorating, inspiring, and therapeutic. I find that I enjoy photography and creating more because of this. I will share my knitting escapades in a separate post. I have made the firm decision to finish my WIP before starting any more. I am running out of needles, that should give you a clue of how out of hand things have gotten. February was all about supporting those who need me, in all kinds of different ways. I think that in truth I am at my best when I help. Throughout my life serving my community has been important to me, and the events have reconfirmed that it is a pillar of strength for me. While I was planning and building routines, setting goals, planning, and starting new projects in January. Very simplified: restarting my outward life. February realigned my inward and spiritual striving. We also had our 25th wedding anniversary in February. This feels like a huge milestone, even if it is only one year more than last year. I am grateful for the wonderful companion I have had on this journey. How we still don't make much sense on paper, but we still work. I am looking forward to hopefully many more years of compassion and care for each other and plenty of adventures. Word of the MonthJanuary: ClarityFebruary: Remembrance

Reflections on 2022: The Year of Haste

Looking back on 2022 two things really stood out: Everything seems to rush by. It seems like it was a very short year and I felt quite often rushed. I feel like I was super busy and achieved rather little. The second thing that seems to have dominated 22 was that I was sick. It feels like I was sick a whole lot of the year. In reality, I was sick exactly 3. But I was sick for the whole of June and parts of July and it took ages to recover. Then I was sick again end of the year, again it took me what felt like ages to recover (two weeks). Both these things actually brought me to the conclusion to take a step back and just have a holiday for the last 10 days of the year. I mostly ignored my phone, the only interaction with my laptop was to edit photos and I was only on social media to keep going with my Project 365. Literally posting the photo of the day and calling it a day. I did reach the goals I set for myself. BUT at the beginning of 2022, I did say how I am setting 3 quite simple goals and that I would rather make intentions and write down what I would like to prioritize during the year instead. So maybe it wasn't that huge of a feat. I did reach my reading goal of 200 books ( but that is my usual so not that special) and I did also finish my 365 Photo Project. I will talk about it a little later.My overall impression is however that I didn't manage to get very much done. When I was sick at the end of May I stopped my morning routine. No more sunrise walks, no more sketching in the morning, also no more study time. This also meant much less journaling and I didn't keep a bullet journal. For the first time in over 6 years, I just stopped doing my bullet journal- the result sadly meant I didn't really keep up with my routines and I was also less organized and my multitasking was rather questionable. Even after I recover I didn't manage to get back into my morning routine, and obviously, my evening routine, which was always my weak point was totally thrown out the window. I think this is a huge reason why I did feel more stressed and why I didn't get half as much done as I usually do. The feeling of being stressed a lot and not being able to keep up permeated many aspects of my life. I often found myself rushing somewhere or thinking I should be doing a million things. I feel like I got sidetracked and distracted a lot. Most importantly, I feel like there were far too few moments when I was fully in the moment. I found social media overwhelming and I stopped posting because I was overthinking as usual. Also, I found the trolls stressful. Instead of being inspired and connecting with others, I just felt stressed and alienated half the time, or I would get sucked into the vortex of random posts and then be stressed because I wasted time. Writing my stress-fest down like that makes it all look quite dire. But really I had many amazing moments. I went on 5 trips (not as many as I used to do before 2020 but I good amount). I spent a lot of time with my family. I got to see a lot of friends. Both were even more of a treat after two years of barely being able to see anyone. I made quite a few new friends. I got a bit lost with my work and what I wanted to do but found in all of the stressing very clear signs of what I really don't want to do. And with that a clear indication of where I want with my creative life and work. So ending the year in my beloved alps. Sipping coffee as I watched the sun rise over one of the snowy peaks I felt like I could finally breathe. And when took my pen and started journaling what came out was clarity. I was very clear on my goals for 2023 and how I want the rest of my life to look. So 2022 might be a year of haste for me, overall and in general but really it also ended up as a gateway to clarity. PS: As pomised I will talk about the 365 Photos in 2022 project a wee bit later (give me a few days)

Reflections on January 2022

January started off slow and intentional. I reset my intentions and made time for my mourning routine. I felt like the first two weeks were an eternity. In fact, I even said that maybe this year will not be a total blur. And then, it all rushed by. Point of fact: I am writing this in mid-Feb. Even though I actually did write a small review into my journal. for some reason, I never got around to actually typing it out. I feel that I haven't gotten much done in the last couple of weeks of January, despite rushing around and always being busy. I ended up having sleeping issues as well, which retrospectively is most likely due to my ignoring my evening routine. I had two major deadlines in January. So I did spend quite a bit of time procrastinating and then freaking out. I would like to say I can actually pinpoint why I do it, but I have only a vague idea for my reasons. It is definitely something I will address in the next few months. But one thing I realised is that, I am not interested in being busy, feeling rushed and stressed. I don't really thrive on it anymore. I have no issue with working hard and a lot, but I actually do not enjoy the pressure of doing stuff within the last minute anymore. I feel like I am done with unnecessary drama, business and stress. I have been diligently working on Project 365. It's been interesting especially when we had bad weather and I am really not feeling like venturing out, so I have been taking way more stills. Also while I have purposely not set the task as having to be in a theme or even that I need to use my canon for the daily photo. The eternal perfectionist in me feels like the photos should still tell a story and I cringe when I only did take a photo on my phone. Then there is the not very curated grid that comes from this. It has been quite honestly a massive exercise in letting go for me for the first month. As I am talking about Project 365, I decided not to post the photos every week, because I feel like I am posting the same thing over and over. So if you want to see the actual photos visit my personal Instagram account. I do (most of the time) post daily. I will share the monthly mosaic with my reviews. That's all for now.Happy Valentines Day!

Morning Musings

While I feel that I need to set goals so I can achieve "things" I also know that at the moment what I need most is to dwell in the moment. To just be, to reflect and stop rushing towards what I perceive as somewhat my (socially expected) duty.I just can't quantify and timeline what I want to "achieve" right now. This state got me to reflect on what does success really mean. Well, what does success mean?I know that in this consumer-driven capitalist world the bottom line matter probably most. But I keep circling back to the fact, that to me it mostly doesn't matter at all. Success to me put into one phrase means a life well-lived. I want to have a meaningful life. I want to be generous and grateful, experiencing and being aware of every moment. I want to really live. Not rush behind a payout or stress over being acknowledged. To me success is to live a life with intentions, actions that are done with heart, constantly learning and becoming my best self.Yet I keep trying to fit what I perceive is expected from me, trying to define myself, finding a niche I fit into.But I am left frustrated because I can't find one.I feel like I am eternally searching for what I am "really" good at, but I am only quite decent at most things I do and terrible at a few. I am the eternal jack of all trades, sadly. Though my friend told me I am a polymath ( She is eternally kind but sadly wrong, IMO). I however I kinda think I might be a multipotentalite. Okay, I hope I am.I also am not good at monetizing and honestly I don't enjoy it. It just seems such an uphill struggle. Most of all however I feel like I have to do it because that's what's expected of me.I feel that this is the way people relate to me and my work. They try to find a niche to place me in.And I would be happy to oblige, but I don't know where I fit in. However, in all honesty, I also don't really care about finding that little spot where I can fit in. I got commitment issue after all.So. Here I am back to square one.Thinking on how I can define myself, make me more palatable and define my bottom line. And you know what I realised this morning?I don't want to.I want people to just meet me. My very varied interests and abilities. My love for things artisan, cultural and exploring. My offbeat nomad ways of living. My grumpy gruff self with quite a soft and sensitive heart.My work. As it is. With all its imperfections.I want to keep exploring, keep learning and hopefully keep growing. Becoming my best self and living life. Being mindful, aware and having no regrets. So.I decided to give up on my quest to find my niche.I am my niche.Me in my absolutely imperfect and unique glory.

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