Can you believe nearly ¾ of the year has already flown by? This fact quite strikes me. I feel a sense of urgency atm. Oddly it's an urgency to slow down, treasure time and live in the moment. I feel very aware of my time being limited. I am currently visiting home, as a family member is not well. It is the main reason I have spent a lot of time in Switzerland this past year. First and foremost I am very grateful that I am able to do this. Freelancing is a massive gift for me. Also being faced with our mortality puts many things in perspective for me. I feel very aware of my priorities in life. It puts into perspective who and what is most important to me. Second I also feel strongly that there are things I still would love to learn and explore, and don't want to make excuses to postpone them. I saw a reel on IG the other day, about how two years passed and nothing changed... the excuses are the same-but if one just starts moving towards one's dreams in small steps, two years later most things won't be much different, except we have small experiences that change our lives. This spoke to me and I am now writing a list of skills I still want to learn and things I want to do. A sort of bucket list of skills. I might share them later here. (Don't hold your breath, since I am terrible at writing posts these days)Do you have skills you want to learn? I am also reflecting on the year so far. The 100 Day Project was an interesting experience for me. It's been interesting sketching for 100 consecutive days. My inner overachiever still preens with the fact, that she managed to finish the 100 days. From a skill point of view, it was interesting and creatively I found it very expansive, even though I was worried I would run out of ideas or feel stifled.I did however not feel like it was very interactive with other artists. Maybe it's about the algorithms or we are all social media overloaded. Who knows? But one of the reasons I loved Damn Early Days was the sense of community it created. While I did my own thing and was one of the few people in my time zone who took part, others were struggling with me. There was an exchange of ideas and experiences. Also most importantly reminders to be patient with ourselves and our intentions. It helped me get even better at setting goals and pursuing them. And it helped me overcome my fear of routine, and how to build one that helps me expand rather than stiffle me. And last but certainly not least I learnt a whole lot about habits. When I told a friend about these experiences I had the idea to do another 100 days- for the last 100 days of the year. But then life happened and I kinda forgot that the last 100 days of 2024 start on the 23rd of September, so I decided to do a 30-day challenge instead with whoever is keen to join. Starting in October. The idea is to write a goal and make an intention to do something consistently for 30 days. This could be something creative or physical or studying whatever, for at least 5 minutes every day. Or if one wants the goal could be walking 3km or reading one page.. the sky is the limit. I think it is important to make time and to challenge oneself but not to make it impossible. For example, I would not be able to finish a sketch every day because it usually takes me at least 3 hours. Would you be interested in taking part in a 30-day challenge?
Morning Musings. 1. November 2023
While I think that in some ways human imagination and creativity are incredible and seemingly limitless. I find that the majority of us end up applying what we have experienced or seen. So most times there is some of our ego in what we do. Which is interesting and positive when it comes to making art for example.But the more I reflect on it the more I find that most of us apply this to all actions and thoughts. So most of our actions come through a viewpoint of our own experience and views and are thus permeated with at least a small part of it. How is one truly selfless? How does one put "one's self into someone else's boots"? Without dragging one's own experiences and views into it? I think that letting go of one's own history to look at a situation or to act from a "fresh" point of view is one of the most difficult things to do. And in reality, it is most times nearly impossible. Is it necessary? When it comes to the current situation we find ourselves in, it is what Humanity desperately needs, in my opinion. People who act with no agenda or personal gain. People who act from a space that is free of the ego, their desires, and fears. Those actions- the actions that come with intention straight from the heart- have the most impact. No matter how small. They are the seeds that can change the world An entire city can not change one man. But one man can change the entire city.
Morning Musings
While I feel that I need to set goals so I can achieve "things" I also know that at the moment what I need most is to dwell in the moment. To just be, to reflect and stop rushing towards what I perceive as somewhat my (socially expected) duty.I just can't quantify and timeline what I want to "achieve" right now. This state got me to reflect on what does success really mean. Well, what does success mean?I know that in this consumer-driven capitalist world the bottom line matter probably most. But I keep circling back to the fact, that to me it mostly doesn't matter at all. Success to me put into one phrase means a life well-lived. I want to have a meaningful life. I want to be generous and grateful, experiencing and being aware of every moment. I want to really live. Not rush behind a payout or stress over being acknowledged. To me success is to live a life with intentions, actions that are done with heart, constantly learning and becoming my best self.Yet I keep trying to fit what I perceive is expected from me, trying to define myself, finding a niche I fit into.But I am left frustrated because I can't find one.I feel like I am eternally searching for what I am "really" good at, but I am only quite decent at most things I do and terrible at a few. I am the eternal jack of all trades, sadly. Though my friend told me I am a polymath ( She is eternally kind but sadly wrong, IMO). I however I kinda think I might be a multipotentalite. Okay, I hope I am.I also am not good at monetizing and honestly I don't enjoy it. It just seems such an uphill struggle. Most of all however I feel like I have to do it because that's what's expected of me.I feel that this is the way people relate to me and my work. They try to find a niche to place me in.And I would be happy to oblige, but I don't know where I fit in. However, in all honesty, I also don't really care about finding that little spot where I can fit in. I got commitment issue after all.So. Here I am back to square one.Thinking on how I can define myself, make me more palatable and define my bottom line. And you know what I realised this morning?I don't want to.I want people to just meet me. My very varied interests and abilities. My love for things artisan, cultural and exploring. My offbeat nomad ways of living. My grumpy gruff self with quite a soft and sensitive heart.My work. As it is. With all its imperfections.I want to keep exploring, keep learning and hopefully keep growing. Becoming my best self and living life. Being mindful, aware and having no regrets. So.I decided to give up on my quest to find my niche.I am my niche.Me in my absolutely imperfect and unique glory.