While I feel that I need to set goals so I can achieve "things" I also know that at the moment what I need most is to dwell in the moment. To just be, to reflect and stop rushing towards what I perceive as somewhat my (socially expected) duty.I just can't quantify and timeline what I want to "achieve" right now. This state got me to reflect on what does success really mean. Well, what does success mean?I know that in this consumer-driven capitalist world the bottom line matter probably most. But I keep circling back to the fact, that to me it mostly doesn't matter at all. Success to me put into one phrase means a life well-lived. I want to have a meaningful life. I want to be generous and grateful, experiencing and being aware of every moment. I want to really live. Not rush behind a payout or stress over being acknowledged. To me success is to live a life with intentions, actions that are done with heart, constantly learning and becoming my best self.Yet I keep trying to fit what I perceive is expected from me, trying to define myself, finding a niche I fit into.But I am left frustrated because I can't find one.I feel like I am eternally searching for what I am "really" good at, but I am only quite decent at most things I do and terrible at a few. I am the eternal jack of all trades, sadly. Though my friend told me I am a polymath ( She is eternally kind but sadly wrong, IMO). I however I kinda think I might be a multipotentalite. Okay, I hope I am.I also am not good at monetizing and honestly I don't enjoy it. It just seems such an uphill struggle. Most of all however I feel like I have to do it because that's what's expected of me.I feel that this is the way people relate to me and my work. They try to find a niche to place me in.And I would be happy to oblige, but I don't know where I fit in. However, in all honesty, I also don't really care about finding that little spot where I can fit in. I got commitment issue after all.So. Here I am back to square one.Thinking on how I can define myself, make me more palatable and define my bottom line. And you know what I realised this morning?I don't want to.I want people to just meet me. My very varied interests and abilities. My love for things artisan, cultural and exploring. My offbeat nomad ways of living. My grumpy gruff self with quite a soft and sensitive heart.My work. As it is. With all its imperfections.I want to keep exploring, keep learning and hopefully keep growing. Becoming my best self and living life. Being mindful, aware and having no regrets. So.I decided to give up on my quest to find my niche.I am my niche.Me in my absolutely imperfect and unique glory.