Tag: nomadsdwellings

Reflections on January 2022

January started off slow and intentional. I reset my intentions and made time for my mourning routine. I felt like the first two weeks were an eternity. In fact, I even said that maybe this year will not be a total blur. And then, it all rushed by. Point of fact: I am writing this in mid-Feb. Even though I actually did write a small review into my journal. for some reason, I never got around to actually typing it out. I feel that I haven't gotten much done in the last couple of weeks of January, despite rushing around and always being busy. I ended up having sleeping issues as well, which retrospectively is most likely due to my ignoring my evening routine. I had two major deadlines in January. So I did spend quite a bit of time procrastinating and then freaking out. I would like to say I can actually pinpoint why I do it, but I have only a vague idea for my reasons. It is definitely something I will address in the next few months. But one thing I realised is that, I am not interested in being busy, feeling rushed and stressed. I don't really thrive on it anymore. I have no issue with working hard and a lot, but I actually do not enjoy the pressure of doing stuff within the last minute anymore. I feel like I am done with unnecessary drama, business and stress. I have been diligently working on Project 365. It's been interesting especially when we had bad weather and I am really not feeling like venturing out, so I have been taking way more stills. Also while I have purposely not set the task as having to be in a theme or even that I need to use my canon for the daily photo. The eternal perfectionist in me feels like the photos should still tell a story and I cringe when I only did take a photo on my phone. Then there is the not very curated grid that comes from this. It has been quite honestly a massive exercise in letting go for me for the first month. As I am talking about Project 365, I decided not to post the photos every week, because I feel like I am posting the same thing over and over. So if you want to see the actual photos visit my personal Instagram account. I do (most of the time) post daily. I will share the monthly mosaic with my reviews. That's all for now.Happy Valentines Day!

Project 365

One of the goals I set for myself this year is to do a 365 project, I mentioned this in my first post of the year. Essential this is a challenge to take a photo every day for one year. I have done this twice before and I actually quite enjoy the challenge of being consistent. I felt that in the last couple of years I kept taking fewer and fewer photos. Most of the time only shoot if I have a specific idea or project, which is totally the opposite of what I used to do before I did this professionally. An acquaintance of my husband described me to him as the person that is always taking photos once. He absolutely wouldn't today. It's not that I don't adore the medium anymore, but more that I keep attaching strings to it. I self-critic myself out of shooting, literally. Also in all honesty my camera is way bigger and heavier than my little beginners one I used to have, so it's connected to pure laziness as well. Anyway. I felt this challenge might help me just get back into enjoying the process and no overthinking just shooting. However knowing myself I decided to add that it can be any photo taken, even with my phone. I am sharing the snaps daily on my personal Instagram account and decided to do a weekly review of my week and share my snaps. Since I am starting this quite late I am going to play catch up. Posting week 1 today, shortly followed by week 2, so that I can do a weekly every Monday. Here are the first 8 days of my year in photos Week 1

Morning Musings

While I feel that I need to set goals so I can achieve "things" I also know that at the moment what I need most is to dwell in the moment. To just be, to reflect and stop rushing towards what I perceive as somewhat my (socially expected) duty.I just can't quantify and timeline what I want to "achieve" right now. This state got me to reflect on what does success really mean. Well, what does success mean?I know that in this consumer-driven capitalist world the bottom line matter probably most. But I keep circling back to the fact, that to me it mostly doesn't matter at all. Success to me put into one phrase means a life well-lived. I want to have a meaningful life. I want to be generous and grateful, experiencing and being aware of every moment. I want to really live. Not rush behind a payout or stress over being acknowledged. To me success is to live a life with intentions, actions that are done with heart, constantly learning and becoming my best self.Yet I keep trying to fit what I perceive is expected from me, trying to define myself, finding a niche I fit into.But I am left frustrated because I can't find one.I feel like I am eternally searching for what I am "really" good at, but I am only quite decent at most things I do and terrible at a few. I am the eternal jack of all trades, sadly. Though my friend told me I am a polymath ( She is eternally kind but sadly wrong, IMO). I however I kinda think I might be a multipotentalite. Okay, I hope I am.I also am not good at monetizing and honestly I don't enjoy it. It just seems such an uphill struggle. Most of all however I feel like I have to do it because that's what's expected of me.I feel that this is the way people relate to me and my work. They try to find a niche to place me in.And I would be happy to oblige, but I don't know where I fit in. However, in all honesty, I also don't really care about finding that little spot where I can fit in. I got commitment issue after all.So. Here I am back to square one.Thinking on how I can define myself, make me more palatable and define my bottom line. And you know what I realised this morning?I don't want to.I want people to just meet me. My very varied interests and abilities. My love for things artisan, cultural and exploring. My offbeat nomad ways of living. My grumpy gruff self with quite a soft and sensitive heart.My work. As it is. With all its imperfections.I want to keep exploring, keep learning and hopefully keep growing. Becoming my best self and living life. Being mindful, aware and having no regrets. So.I decided to give up on my quest to find my niche.I am my niche.Me in my absolutely imperfect and unique glory.

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